My one liners - 2012
-31dec-My cousins have come home from abroad. "International menu!" screamed our mosquitoes.
-22dec-Hope all Doomsdays pass off in the same manner, without a whimper.
-21dec-Bought a house after hearing the fantastic offer of 30% off. The roof was missing.
-19dec-I am least worried about the 21.12.2012 Doomsday happening, my star forecast in the newspaper has already said that next week i am in for a pleasant surprise.
-18dec-Any time i think of an idea one cellular operator calls up.
-17dec-Want to have the person who can solve all your problems to be with you at all times? Keep a mirror handy.
-15dec- I found honesty,sincerity,trust, compassion, all at one place, the trash can
14dec-I found peace, tranquility, bliss and harmony all at one place, the dictionary.
-13dec-Pole vault is the place where you hide things high up, out of reach from others.
-12dec-Yesterday had big ideas about celebrating 12:12:12 on 12.12.12, today did not even notice the time as it went past, did you?
-11dec-Never compare your children with others, others will do it.
-10dec-Previously only onions made me cry, but now with prices riding high, all vegetables equally do.
-6dec-Deserts are the best places to set up units manufacturing hour glasses.
-5dec-Once steel rods were inserted to reinforce my fractured leg I became a lot more attractive, magnetically.
-4dec-God's surname starts with 'O'.
-3dec-Elbomania-The silent battle inside the movie theatre, with eyes glued to the screen, to own elbow space on the arm rest from the stranger seated next.
-2dec-I hate procrastination, especially the way its spelt.
-29nov-Looked at the mirror. Was the tummy too big? Acted without delay, removed the mirror.
-28nov-Transparent deals these days, happen only with the glass dealers.
-27nov-I made a list of oxymorons and handed over the original copy to the publisher.
-26nov-I sensed she was getting older when she announced shifting her stay close to the museum.
-27sep-Thank you all, my dear friends, who wished me on my birthday! I know you are all delighted in seeing me get one year older!
-1sep-Time to de-Onam and get back to work.
-27aug-In a world of silence the one thing i want sound is my bank balance.
-21aug-We should be grateful to Google and other search engines on the internet for getting us whatsoever information we wanted, on our finger tips. By the way who is your neighbour?
-20aug-Plain living, these days, is otherwise known as crisis management.
-19aug-These days i wince while meeting some people i know, they are the ones i missed out inviting to my daughter's wedding. I also see some smiling sheepishly upon seeing me, they are the ones who missed the wedding in spite of being invited.
-18aug-There are two kinds of people on earth, the ones who return the pens borrowed from you, and the ones who involuntarily deposit them in their own pockets.
-17aug-My friends, colleagues and other acquainances have wonderful names, but I am dead scared of forgetting them at the right moment when I am about to introduce them to others.
-11aug-Once upon a time the salt and pepper haired used to get seats in crowded buses, not any more.
-10aug- Geography at school taught that India is bounded by the sea on three sides and by the Himalayas at the top. After crawling through government offices I have enlightened myself that its not so. India is bounded on all sides with a red tape.
-3aug-In Tamilnadu I found that the most common name was "Sar".
-2aug- Nohartalophobia - The fear that there will be no hartal atleast once every fortnight, experienced exclusively by a population in the southern part of India owned by God.
-2aug-Hartal-God's gift to his own country men.
-27jul-The form of life purely dependent on light energy is the shadow.
-25jul-In Kerala Dengue disease and Chickungunya are spreading at an alarming pace, do we have a hartal tomorrow?
-23jul-Currently hotels in Kerala are being raided left, right and centre un-earthing pre-historic food being served to the customers. If the raids were extended to homes, most housewives too could end up behind bars.
-22jul-Cats, with nine lives, apart from keeping track of all mishaps they go thru', need to learn to count as well,to know where they stand in life.
-21jul-On the road I saw a zebra crossing, then I knew he was a Christian.
-18jul-Marriages are made in heaven, but the expenses are borne on earth.
-18jun-The key personnel in our organisation lock up the rooms after all the others have left.
-15jun- : ) ( - 0 P ; etc. ,thankyou.Without you we would have remained expressionless.
-14jun-Noah's mistake was in allowing mosquitoes, spiders, cockroaches and the like to board the ship.
-12jun-I started practising Hurdles after i got studying Geography. It said that one had to cross over a lot of Latitudes and Longitudes to move from one place to another.
-11jun-Attukal Pongala is the day when Thiruvananthapuram is declared a No Man's Land.
-4jun-An island is a land mass where both the ends of a straight line are wet.
-1jun-If you put all the eggs in one basket, there's going to be a space constraint when they hatch.
-31may-Necessity is the mother of invention. How come she didn't get a Nobel prize?
-29may-The Pandavas were lucky to have one single Draupadi for wife, each had to undergo only 20% nagging.
-26may-with regular junk food and no exercise one stands all the chance to become an all-rounder.
-25may-Mankind it was, not so kind these days.
-24may-Considering the origins of Western philosophy, no wonder they sound so Greek.
-23may-The nice part of Facebook is that it gives everyone an opportunity to like others.
-22may-What came first, the chicken or the egg? either way lunch looks good.
-17may-In olden days arsenic was used as poison for slow death. Today we have televishum in the form of serials.
-16may-Whatever be the level of planning and preparedness, the last 10 minutes of frenzy are almost the same for all, the prepared and the unprepared.
-15may-If seeing or hearing is what you believe, the level of belief must be inversely proportional to your age.
-12may-Have the FM radio stations conspired to create traffic snarls so that you stay on road and continue listening to them?
-11may-The best of technologies have not been able to mend the hole in my wallet.
-8may-The refrigerator and the microwave oven are the magical tools with the wife, to convince the husband that pre-historic food is served fresh every day.
-1may--Is a civil engineering structure called a building because it never gets complete?
-27apr- We used to call Nelson who stayed upstairs Nelson Mandela.
-26apr-If all people were honest and transparent we could have done away with the Police and the MRI scans.
-25apr- Are electric crematoriums user friendly? we'll never know.
-24apr-I have told my son a million times not to say anything that was untrue or exaggerating.
-23apr-Count 1 to 10 when you feel angry, i advised my friend. He said it didn't work. I found it was because he counted 1,2,10.
-22apr-Joined a health club to shed weight. Beneficiary was my wallet.
-21apr-Suicide is jumping the queue to get past the finishing line earlier, and still be the loser.
-20apr-Read a book written by a serious journalist, page 3 was blank.
-19apr-My railway diary: I trained my way to Trivandrum last week. I slept soundly during the whole training.
-18apr-In civil engineering the most boring job is piling.
-17apr-My secret password is seven black dots.
-14apr-(not mine)-Don't do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.
-13apr-Vish u all the best of happiness and prosperous times ahead!
-12apr-Not having a watch is a timeless experience.
-11apr-In my next birth i wish to be a comic strip character so that i never age.
-10apr-I am of average height, does that qualify me to become a middle man?
-9apr-Hearing that money is the root of all evil I started digging all over the place.
-7apr-Facebook is where we go green with envy seeing the good times of others.
-6apr-The bird who has joined the band of birds like the Ostrich, the Emu and the Penguin is the Kingfisher. None fly.
-5apr-To see flying saucers on a cool and starry night, pick up a fight with your wife.
-4apr-Father told me the secret to pass down the generations, "Mum's the word".
-3apr-Julius Caesar-history, Cleopatra-herstory.
-2apr-People who think out of the box might be wondering how to get back in.
-1apr-Celebrated April 1 on March 31st watching "King and Commissioner", the worst movie seen in recent times.
-1apr-Two's company, three a better one, with a casting vote.
-31mar-Today I was nominated Vice-President of an organisation. I have a doubt that my character had a lot to do with the decision.
-27mar-The skill in blowing a balloon depends on the sixth sense that tells when to stop.
-26mar-"Silence!" is the loudest word heard in many a classroom.
-25mar-I was part of a cricket match today where I was able to do magic. I turned myself into a duck.
-23mar-Where there's a will there's a way to a possible fortune.
-21mar-Need to see whether Nokia was named by someone from Thiruvananthoram.
-18mar-Once upon a time parents and grandparents read out stories to little kids and they lived happily ever after.
-16mar-If only the guys we interview were half as good as their resumes.....
-15mar-One way to learn difficult words right is to have the tongue cleaned regularly.
-14mar-Silence is golden when the mouth is plastered with gilt paper.
-13mar-Watched a steamy movie today, it explained in detail how to build a sauna.
-12mar-A good security guard is a moveable asset having compound interest.
-11mar-Saw a new application which revealed the time spent on Facebook by each person. I use a simpler apparatus, called the weighing scale.
-8mar-To make the most of time one needs to rest a while.
-7mar- Leave alone the bulls and the bears, I am looking for the cash cow.
-6mar-Banks give away loans to those who provide documents that prove they are rich.
-5mar-You need to be made of sand to make an hourglass figure.
-4mar-Do the crows really know how much the way they fly matters to others?
-3mar- Anonymity at times is the biggest privacy in a crowd.
-2mar- If you have butterflies in your stomach, you are a stage frightened non-vegetarian.
-1mar-Good news! Great food is now available at your nearest TV.
-29feb-Lived an extra day today,tomorrow we begin the march.
-28feb-Neighbours are a rare kind of people you at times meet up at malls, theatres and restaurants.
-27feb-Positive energy is the most durable, effective and inexpensive makeup that i know.
-26feb-Sense of timing is more important than the management of time.
-25feb-To err is human, i would like that to be considered for all my acts.
-24feb-Some people look the same even after 20 years. That's simply not fair.
-22feb-When i got the rashes i had to start from scratch.
-21feb-All work and no pay makes Kingfisher a dull airline.
-20feb-Having a chauffeur has some benefits. One is that it makes you an expert backseat driver.
-19feb-Common sense needs to be named something else as it has become quite rare.
-18feb-I have never ventured into the stock markets as i have always been scared of bulls and bears.
-17feb-The power of zero is evident while peering into the wallet at the close of the month.
-16feb-Anger is proprietary, no one else can display it.
-14feb-Ego with only three letters weighs a lot.
-13feb-India is heavily populated as the people are highly creative.
-12feb-In the forest one is likely to be safer moving on all fours.
-9feb-A calendar is simply to make aware that your days are numbered.
-7feb-My wife says I am a sound sleeper, she has the audio tapes to prove.
-8feb-Zoo is a place where criminals put the innocent behind bars.
-6feb-You can work only on your good habits, all the bads ones are genetic.
-5feb-By the time i spell or name "aphrodisiac" the effect is off.
-3feb-The tallest guy can always be identified inside a dark movie house, he invariably sits in front of me.
-1feb-Cannibals of today sustain on junk food.
-31jan-My chances of joining a fitness club are slim, so i stay a round.
-30jan-Tomorrow is patiently waiting for all of us to reach there.
-28jan-A celebrity is a person who is loved by too many strangers.
-27jan-Have often heard people say that the word "Impossible" is not in their dictionary. Sue the publisher!
26jan-To reach the starting point you still need to walk up to it.
23jan-What is next to impossible? Impost, is what my dictionary says.
23jan-I dream of genetic technology reaching a point where one could go out and shop for patience, attitude, humility etc. off the shelf.
22jan-An autobiography says what the person wants you to know about him, not necessarily what was.
21jan-The unobstructed posterior view of cameramen- professional,amateur and the un-initiated, is what marriage functions are all about, for the attendees.
20jan-Eating is primarily an activity to keep the civic sewage treatment plant working.
18jan-When a pessimist thinks the negative of the negative, does that make him an optimist?
17jan-Dictionary is a book you always believe you possess, but never available when incommodious words turn up.
16jan-I am a down to earth person, thanks to gravity.
15jan-Marriages are made in heaven.Hell breaks loose later.
13jan-New Year marks the beginning of yet another generation gap.
11jan-Now is the time when you think about the past and the future.
10jan- Starting to feel relaxed, as the resolutions painfully made are begining to disappear.
9jan-Dream becomes a nightmare when the mind starts galloping into the dark.
7jan-The only day that doesn't end with a "y" is tomorrow.
3jan-What's on my mind has nothing to do with what's on your mind! Still the Post....
3jan-There are certain times when you stare at the Google web page and wonder what to search for.
3jan-What's on my mind has nothing to do with what's on your mind! Still the Post....
2jan-my new year resolution this year was - to reduce the number of resolutions you broke by one.
2jan-The bench mark for having a good sense of humour is having the abilility to laugh at oneself.
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